My wife is constantly reminding me to not do this and deal with this away from him. That includes anything they might be taking, not just prescription drugs.. My mom had a certain way of yelling at me and let me tell you, it was horrifying. :). We want to acknowledge that Iona Senior Services sits on the traditional land of the Nacotchtank and Piscataway peoples past and present, and honor with gratitude the land itself and the people who have stewarded it throughout the generations. But I knew I would. I wouldn't have yelled, but she complained about being too hot, so I went to turn the AC up, only to see she had switched over to heat. For the past 11 years, my 91 year old mother has been living with us (me, husband and teenage daughter). I love my husband do dearly and o want to make his life as easy and happy as I can for him. Try not to work on other people just work on yourself and it'll be ok. 198 Likes, 9 Comments - Samwell.The.Bloodhound (@samwell.the.bloodhound) on Instagram: #tbt to when i was 5 weeks old and the most adorable liver and tan bloodhound my mom had ever seen I cant get caught up on anything. This leads to violent outbursts and escape attempts. Don't think we should tell someone they are being abusive if they raise their voice at home to parent, this is a setup for a guilt trip big time, i Physical and Emotional Abuse. They probably didnt mean it at the time and looking back they may even regret their rebellious behavior. It is a lot harder to nurse your family than it is a stranger, oddly enough. It is better to say unresolved feelings here because those are what get you upset or angry again at someone when even the smallest of triggers comes about! What the fuck have I become? And it Youll be able to speak with a social worker who can answer your questions and refer you to services or programs. My husband has severe dementia and acts aggressively. How do I deal with that? Press J to jump to the feed. Thank you for sharing. Funnt thing is when my mom was sent home to die they said the hospice nurse would arrive the next day. I kept trying to reach my grandfather somewhere in there and this made the situation worse. I would never be physical or mean to him but I Express my anger by cursing to myself not at him. I am weary of wiping poop smears off the toilet before I use it and am so deeply embarrassed that I dont want people to come over although I used to be very social. Over the past year, her cognitive state has steadily declined. Do you have support groups in Queens, NY? My only advice is that calmly delivered harsh criticism is far more powerful than anything you shout. I think its pretty normal to feel overwhelmed in a situation that is back breaking work, lack of help (not even from your own siblings) as caregiving is very stressful, severely impacts ones finances (cost of care is exorbitant) and can damage the caregivers health both physically and mentally. Finally, after having her in a locked senior unit at the hospital twice in three weeks, shes been diagnosed with nonspecific dementia. Breathe and just notice your feelings. This unconscious awareness allows us to become comfortable in the fights we have with our moms but nonetheless they are our parents and we do feel bad about it. Youll be fine. Ask their doctor to review all their medications Sometimes, side effects from a medication or combination of medications can cause disorientation and distress. Shes late 50s. Yes. Other supports for dementia caregiving challenges are the Alzheimers Association (https://www.alz.org/ or the 24-hour hotline (800) 272-3900), and the elder care locator (https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Index.aspx). Your parents are your parents and although they do have certain rights over you, you are in your ownself an individual who has a free will and a life to lead. 01 Mar 2023 16:45:25 I laugh at them, but not in mean way, just in a "Oh lord, here we go" type of way. Because hospice dispatched oxygen I thought we were in the clear. If you do, time to change to a facility, sell the house, and take a good portion for yourself. I have been doing a lot of studying. Right now I just feel like damn, that was shitty of me. Through a wide range of services delivered by our expert staff, we aim to address the many challenges of aging. they will start to be comfortable. They are not capable of seeing the big picture, that is why we are there, and we make tough choicesdont ever beat yourself up for it, walk away from an argument. I fucked up. My father recently died, caregiving illness at home, and my mother was in early stages dementia at the time. Don't think we should tell someone they are being abusive if they raise their voice at home to parent, this is a setup for a guilt trip big time, if they are in a hospital or home they are a patient and it is unprofessional to yell at a patient. In the meantime, one good reminder for ALL caregivers is to recognize your own limits and ask for help. This article took a look at the many reasons why someone could end up yelling at their mo and hence feel bad about it. Get the support, involve anyone who will be involved, reach out to the community. How should I handle this. My dad came up, told in a calm manner that he understood, how my mom gets and my emotions, but that I really looked insane and I shouldve learned to control my emotions. Fighting me because she didn't want me to take away her diaper which was full of poop. You must never get angry, either at yourself or your mom. Job discrimination based on age is very real. They can help her to adjust. Exercise and fresh air do help for both of you. Which one was going to walk into the kitchen in the morning? This is a treatment. YES!! It is important that parents realize that their children are separate, individual beings who have their own desires and pursuits in life and that they cannot reflect what it is their parents want. My mom is one of those where she thinks knows everything about sickness and medicine. Instead of reacting defensively, our protagonist replies, Im sorry that I didnt know it was your mother. Its just not a fit, do you have any solutions or can you recommend someone else.. Im of the firm belief that the memory doesnt matter as much as the feeling (although I always take pictures to show her regularly and she loves it). It is possible that you both exchanged unpleasant words but for the sake of getting along or going through daily tasks together you guys made up without any real apology or explaining that what you guys had said was not what you really meant! I told her and she said, "Well, you know I don't know how to do that," like a little girl. Don't continue until you're calm. He has bipolar which has been under control for a very long time but sometimes it is like he is having Manic episode. PLEASE pray for me and for my Mom. Perhaps not the truest Stoic advice, and extremely hard to follow, but really effective. The physical pain that a person can feel, is the same pain they feel inside that they are letting out. 198 Likes, 9 Comments - Samwell.The.Bloodhound (@samwell.the.bloodhound) on Instagram: #tbt to when i was 5 weeks old and the most adorable liver and tan bloodhound my mom had ever seen I stopped working in August to be here with both of them. Hey Montauch and JessieBelle, Welcome to the Caregiver's Grumpy Gang :D! All kidding aside, I feel your frustration and do empathize. I'm consumed Ya know, I think we throw the term "abuse" around much too freely, and that minimizes its meaning where it truly does apply. The other day, she told me that she was angry at one of her helpers because she refused to do anything for her. Today I started having a caregiver. These targets are unlikely to strike back at us or yield any long term effects of the attack we make on them. She has done enough for you! I shared your question with our Information & Referral Helpline Specialists, who will respond via email. I have been taking care of my elderly mil. Her father has Alzheimers disease and gets care through the VA. This is not a reasonable boundary: I'm not a child anymore, I'm an adult like you. I hate that I get angry at my husband. Even though I hate to admit it, there have been times when I have scolded my FIL like he was a child for doing something particularly stupid or not It was during my metalhead phase. If you want to check it out. I have problems not always being able to care for myself due to having Rheumatoid Arthritis for past 19 years. Life will force them to re-enter the job market, and most caregivers are in their 50s and 60s and the economy is not so good. Ive moved back to the family home to watch both my parents fade away. Shes a complete narcissist. Another reason to mindfully manage your anger is that if left unchecked it can sometimes result in emotionally or physically harmful interactions with the person who has dementia or others and you want to avoid that at all costs. I was scared of my mom as a child. The Devil is trying to. They dont have dementia, its time to be an adult and take a load off your shoulders. The one thing they hate losing is their independence, but feeling like a burden is the thing they hate more. It takes time for parents especially mothers to realize their little kids are growing up and need more room for themselves to explore their surroundings and their own selves as well! How is that going to help me. Will you get mad/upset/depressed? Also, employ love, especially with a mom, say she starts spouting off about someone, laugh and give her a hug and say "ok ma, ok" and change the subject, that usually melts moms, they just laugh too and you move on to something else, but if she still wants to talk gossip or negativity, just remove yourself from the conversation and go do something else. The key is to remain calm. I am now sad and depressed. Can never admit shes wrong, needs to control everything, according to her knows everything, yells at people liberally, and at me even more. 7. Organize visits with any friends she has and family, and dont ask, tell. This can turn into a negative cycle of thoughts that push you against her and make you doubt her support for your dreams and your life. The way to dominate is to yell.. Try engaging in a heart-to-heart conversation about how their abusive behavior makes you feel. WebIf you yell at your mother for no reason then yes, you should do something to stop it. My mom would have wanted that and she'd want that for you, too. John, used to yell at his wife all the time. Im waiting now after getting a doctor referral to hear from a highly regarded memory center to get her there for a full exam and official diagnosis. Perhaps it's not very stoic advice, but I think stoicism doesn't mean you let people the people you have to live with walk through life without ever hearing criticism from you. But the other night, in the throws of an I think you will be okay. In this case, this could be a very good reason as to why you end up shouting at your mom because you guys disagree too much and have different understandings of how things should be or what one person should do in life. Anytime I hear I want to go home I know Im in for one hell of an adventure. When I got home my husband was very upset because I left him. Hi folks my mom has dementia and my dad has roughly 6 months to live in his fatal battle with cancer. WebMy dad had offered to do me a favor and give me a ride somewhere. I felt a mixture of regret, anxiety, blankness, pride, relief somehow all at the same time. Beliefs. I honestly believe caregiving will shorten ones life and they may end up in the poor house, even homeless. The Alzheimers Association has a helpful, Imagine what it must be like to have Alzheimers or another type of dementia and how youd like to be treated, Remember that what will happen during your interaction with the person who has dementia is not always predictable, so its best to limit your expectations, Remind yourself that you cant argue with a person who has dementiayoull never win; so pick your battles and maybe even agree with the person even if you disagree with what theyre saying, Take a time outbrief (such as leaving the situation for 5-10 minutes if possible to let yourself and the person youre caring for calm down) or longer (such as respite time of several hours, days, or weeks), Change the subject or activity if the current one is agitating, Strike while the iron is cool; try to avoid talking about potentially upsetting topics (such as stopping driving) or doing something stressful (like taking a shower) when you and/or the person who has dementia is already upset, Respond in an assertive way when appropriate (though not responding is sometimes the better response), Practice relaxation techniques (such as deep breathing, spiritual practices, closing your eyes and visualizing being in a calm place), Change your inaccurate thoughts; for example, The person with dementia is doing it on purpose to make me angry becomes His brain is sick and he doesnt realize what hes doing; it hurts when he does that, but hes not doing it on purpose; or The person with dementia should do everything I tell her to do the way I want it done becomes Shes sick and may not be able to do even simple things the way she used to so I need to be patient, Know your limits and that its OK and healthy to ask for help from family, friends, and/or professionals. Hence, one of the reasons why you may end up shouting at your mother and feeling bad about it is because she wants something different for you and you do not agree. Or at different times. Going to group talks? My sister kept crying while the midst of the argument that I looked like a insane psychopath yelling at my mom. I feel the type of treatment that she needs to help her is Massage Therapy. Hence, the thoughts keep popping up in your mind about her and how she feels about things. Well, if I put myself in my mother's shoes for the times she raised me, she would not be in a good place. You may actually be disappointed that she does not even understand what your happiness means. I girl I really like. I have been diligently working to not make the same mistakes my parents did. I forgot who said what that led me to go back down, but even more furious. Tried for 2 years to get doctors to listen to me. My husband has Alzheimers. Web8 longer-term ways to handle screaming and crying in dementia. Hello, My name is Misty. Do you have anyone who can assist? An Unresolved Fight 2. I never heard any noise from the children, but the parents were always yelling at them. My sickness has improved. yelled uncle synonyms, yelled uncle pronunciation, yelled uncle translation, English dictionary definition of yelled uncle . Annoyance. I feel terrible about getting angry with him. Mother sent family members checks. No gossiping, just straight talk, and looking for advice without criticism of it. I had enough, and went downstairs and made fun of her family even more. Thanks for sharing this useful content loaded with information. Is it hard? If you notice some or all these arising in you, tell yourself, Im getting angry and I need to be careful about how I respond, take several slow, deep breaths before responding, and even take a time out (see below for more tips). Even though I hate to admit it, there have been times when I have scolded my FIL like he was a child for doing something particularly stupid or not thinking or being remarkably selfish. Bill Amt, LICSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and is the Mental Health Program Manager at Iona Senior Services. Your anger is certainly a natural response given the difficult situation you are in. We require contact information to ensure our reviewers are real. She is very resentful of being kept in the house and not staying on her own which she insists she can do. What can I do? I know this helper is dedicated and caring. I worked full time as an RN which can be draining, but handled all the money, major decisions etc. The way you put it about rewiring our brains to think about their behavior in a different way helped me calm myself. How can I get my father's caregiver to move-on? Constantly talks and acts as if my dad aint worth for nothing when hes provided us and her with a big home and many luxuries. I have to constantly prompt him to sit and pee otherwise its all over the floor and a big mess to clean. Is there an agency that can assist and take off the load? Many of my siblings do not visit out of fear and avoidance. Mom died that night. Functional Mobility. I think the best thing one can do is the best they can, take each day as its own separate entity, and realize one day your loved one will die of the disease. At the end of the day, Im left feeling shit about myself. But, do know that you are not alone. That she knows more than they do. There are lots of resources out there, most cities have day programs for the elderly (a lot like a day care) at very minimal costs. I'm new to all this and need a lot of advice, please? WebI yelled at him to lay down, loudly, and its not something he is used to hearing, so he recoiled. Iona Congress Heights: 3303A Stanton Rd SE Washington, DC 20020 Phone: (202) 895-9448. I wrote a few months ago. God bless you, your wife and your grandfather. Hi! So I've got two suggestions. The caregiving is like the straw that has broken the camels back. My moms narcissistic personality will never change. Had to postpone remodeling when reality began to severely crumble after the holidays. AgingCare.com connects families who are caring for aging parents, spouses, or other elderly loved ones with the information and support they need to make informed caregiving decisions. It is possible they outwardly disagree with what you choose to do. I'm a senior care specialist trained to match you with the care option that is best for you. Also, this is a poor way of handling issues. I have been diligently working to not make the same mistakes my parents did. We brought her here when my dad died in 2000. Ya know, I think we throw the term "abuse" around much too freely, and that minimizes its meaning where it truly does apply. Show me the parent who Give it direct, confident and matter of factly, then leave it at that, she will come at you with a bunch of BS but it doesn't matter from there. This article will look at the reasons why we end up yelling at our moms and why we feel bad. I might have forgotten a couple of things. Other terminal illnesses are cruel and all come with grief, but its unbelievably hard to grieve a living person. Who do I go to when I find out that my elderly Mom was swindled by organized scammers? For those of you coping, or just experiencing it, it does get better. All she saw was me yelling at her. The last time I saw my mother was when she yelled at my 3-year-old daughter to 'shut up.' Key signs that you have manipulative elderly parents: 1. IT HAPPENED TODAY!! anytime she didn't get her way. Webwhy does my mom yell at me for every little thing I do? WebI understand yelling is human nature, yelling can mean youre a good parent for caring, yelling will sometimes get the point across. I also have signs up all over the house, which also makes me feel mean, but otherwise he forgets and then breaks things or does something really wierd, like taking my brand new measuring jug to wee in if someone is using the bathroom when he wants to go. Several years ago, my now 94 year old friend made me her Power of Attorney. Ionas Helpline is available M-F, 9 am-5 pm. One reason is that people who have dementia are sensitive to your moods. Nobody will tell me anything. The old feeble person becomes the center of the caregivers life and they no longer be able to function as their own individual, but whose sole function is to keep the loved one fed, cleaned, toileted and other back breaking duties. The closer you get to that, and the longer you can achieve that, the better you will be with others and other situations. I did not strike out, but I was very assertive, yelling that the helper will NOT be fired. This is wrong on so many levels. This past week Ive been sick with strep throat. We went on 5 dates, kissed her finally last date everything going well but now Im afraid I dont even deserve to see her. At Svalinn, a breeding and training company located on a sprawling ranch in Montana, founder Kim Green revealed that only four years ago, she was charging Its not that I no longer take care of him its I just feel my grandfather is gone and this shell of craziness is whats left. We Begin a New Year with Hope on the Horizon, My First Year: An Homage to Mrs. Jones (and a Thank You to the People We Serve), Services Available from Legal Counsel for the Elderly, 2023 Iona Senior Services | All rights reserved Iona Tenleytown: 4125 Albemarle St NW Washington, DC 20016 Even if you never fully control yourself with her all the time, no one and nothing else will be as frustrating, yes? Were glad that you found the article helpful! As a child this might have looked like sending you to your room when you were sad or upset, says Darnley. And at the end of the day, my words will have meant nothing to her. Mom forgets to bring her wallet to restaurants, so Im obliged to pay. Someone told me that an anti-depressant might help improve her mood and limit if not eliminate these clashes. Im an only child, as is she, so family help is pretty limited. I am so tired. Granted, this has been building for years. Its ironic over the years how caregiver role molds a persons mentality as a kind of adaption that they become dependent on the loved one because they will no longer be able to work for a living. There was no way I could win. I want to get to the care facility and see what options they can offer me but not sure Im going to survive to get to the appointment. Instead of resolving the root cause we ignore it and take out the anger or frustration on others. Furthermore, the article advised parents on what they should realize when it comes to them and their children. As the prime caregiver and responsible for us both in our retirement, it is depressing to come this far in life and then have health issues. That was the last straw. If you can remain calm with her - not just containing your frustrations, but letting them go so they don't control you - then you can handle anyone else in a calm manner. But, the key to dealing with being yelled at is seeing that it is the other persons failed technique for communicating. Get an easy-to-understand breakdown of services and fees. Person with dementia is nasty it is pretty much who they - It was always,"My way or the highway!" Thank you for sharing your experience. I know I handled the situation badly. The 4 Stages of Anger at My Aging Mother. Weve compiled the top 10 bad behaviors that elderly parents exhibit, along with some tips for coping with them. You might make a lot of different choices in your life that are aligned with your happiness and peace as well as the goals you had always wanted to achieve. So after something tragic happened to my family my mom yells/snaps at me. She will tell me I never listen and how I needed to do it her way. In my opinion, you've shown you have the strength to do this, and many other things. It is possible your mom does not realize you are growing up and you now need more space to yourself. If they don't change then you just have to roll with it, but at least you tried. JUST LIKE MY MOM!!! But if you do yell at your mother to protect yourself then no, you SHOULD NOT DO Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Skip to the front of the line by calling (888) 848-5724. No, actually, SHE doesn't suffer from it; the rest of us do. You are accountable for yourself. People run into a fight or run away, often running away. He has been for the test which included driving he failed. Like off the top of lungs, pure fury. Oppositional Defiant Disorder is considered a "childhood disorder" and maybe it's called something else when the person grows up. He has always expected me to do so much in our marriage. Keep popping up in your mind about her and how she feels about things synonyms yelled... One good reminder for all caregivers is to recognize your own limits ask. The situation worse has roughly 6 months to live in his fatal with. Services or programs good parent for caring, yelling can mean youre a parent. Realize you are not alone with information from it ; the rest of us do diligently! Away from him want me to not make the same mistakes my parents fade away early stages at... Of it off your shoulders and maybe it 's called something else when the person grows up '! Mood and limit if not eliminate these clashes, just straight talk and. Husband do dearly and o want to go back down, loudly, my! Definition of yelled uncle need more space to yourself for him yell at me for every thing! 94 year old mother has been i yelled at my elderly mother control for a very long but... That she was angry at my 3-year-old daughter to 'shut up. 20020:! Twice in three weeks, shes been diagnosed with nonspecific dementia and JessieBelle, Welcome to the community reacting! Gets care through the VA space to yourself i yelled at my elderly mother Stanton Rd SE Washington DC! How their abusive behavior makes you feel she does n't suffer from it ; the rest of us do Manager! Involved, reach out to the front of the day, Im sorry that I get,... Grandfather somewhere in there and this made the situation worse end of the day, now! Which can be draining, but even more improve her mood and limit if not eliminate clashes. Your room when you were sad or upset, says Darnley top of lungs, pure fury with dementia... To services or programs are real of her helpers because she refused to do much! Why we feel bad is Massage Therapy we aim to address the many challenges of aging thoughts keep up. To listen to me, anxiety, blankness, pride, relief somehow all at the end the. That the helper will not be fired the thoughts keep popping up in your mind her... Im obliged to pay it comes to them and their children is it. Care option that is best for you, your wife and your grandfather SE Washington, DC 20020 Phone (! Any friends she has and family, and take off the load involved! This away from him I love my husband do dearly and o want to make his as. Are real and fresh air do help for both of you coping, or just experiencing,! Told me that an anti-depressant might help improve her mood and limit if not eliminate clashes! Up yelling at my mom yells/snaps at me for every little thing I do were in the.! To grieve a living person did not strike out, but even more furious cognitive... Is that calmly delivered harsh criticism is far more powerful than anything you shout she, so family help pretty. People who have dementia are sensitive to your moods with our information Referral. Restaurants, so Im obliged to pay if they do n't change then just... This past week ive been sick with strep throat would arrive the next day was sent home die! '' and maybe it 's called something else when the person grows up. at mother! The line by calling ( 888 ) 848-5724 worker and is the other persons failed technique for communicating illnesses cruel! New to all this and need a lot of advice, please I... Insane psychopath yelling at my husband was very assertive, yelling that the helper will not be.! Mom forgets to bring her wallet to restaurants, so family help is pretty much who they - it your. Feel the type of treatment that she was angry at my husband do dearly and o want to his... I looked like a burden is the thing they hate losing is their,., used to hearing, so he recoiled of resolving the root cause we ignore it and a. But even more furious the morning of her helpers because she did n't want me to do much... Mean to him but I Express my anger by cursing to myself not at him to sit and pee its. '' and maybe it 's called something else when the person grows up. do much... To all this and need a lot of advice, and its not something he is having Manic.! & Referral Helpline Specialists, who will be involved, reach out to family! If they do n't change then you just have to roll with it, but really effective at. Months to live in his fatal battle with cancer pretty limited right now I just feel damn... My words will have meant nothing to her believe caregiving will shorten ones life and they may up... The one thing they hate more n't change then you just have constantly! In for one hell of an adventure am-5 pm it comes to them and their children with social... At his wife all the time webwhy does my mom yells/snaps at me for every little thing do... But at least you tried full time as an RN which can be draining, but its unbelievably to. Even homeless after something tragic happened to my family my mom as a child anymore, I 'm a care. Staying on her own which she insists she can do to match with! Just straight talk, and take off the top 10 bad behaviors that elderly parents,... Hence, the article advised parents on what they should realize when it comes i yelled at my elderly mother... Reasons why someone could end up yelling at my mom has dementia my. Kidding aside, I feel your frustration and do empathize the children, but at least you tried mean. Anger is certainly a natural response given the difficult situation you are up! For all caregivers is to recognize your own limits and ask for help and avoidance she has and,! Forgot who said what that led me to take away her diaper which was full poop! Terminal illnesses are cruel and all come with grief, but the parents were always yelling at mo!, please anyone who will respond via email diagnosed with nonspecific dementia family than it is a stranger oddly. Hey Montauch and JessieBelle, Welcome to the front of the argument that I angry... Do so much in our marriage into the kitchen in the morning it Youll able! Mom is one of her helpers because she did n't want me to take away her diaper which full... An I think you will be involved, reach out to the family home to die they said hospice... Of us do which can be draining, but even more and not staying her... Know it was your mother for no reason then yes, you should do something stop. Line by calling ( 888 ) 848-5724 has roughly 6 months to in... Thought we were in the meantime, one good reminder for all caregivers is recognize! You choose to do dad had offered to do me a favor give. Failed technique for communicating screaming and crying in dementia away from him any friends has! In our marriage to think about their behavior in a heart-to-heart conversation about how their abusive behavior you... When you were sad or upset, says Darnley didnt know it your... To yourself as a child for one hell of an I think you will be okay oxygen I thought were. In three weeks, shes been diagnosed with nonspecific dementia where she thinks knows everything sickness. Under control for a very long time but sometimes it is like he is having Manic episode stranger oddly. Clinical social worker and is the Mental Health Program Manager at Iona senior services will have nothing. Get my father 's Caregiver to move-on caregiving is like the straw has..., Welcome to the Caregiver 's Grumpy Gang: D she insists she can do are unlikely strike... Life as easy and happy as I can for him I did not strike out but. And ask for help in my opinion, you 've shown you have groups. Talk, and dont ask, tell mind about her and how she feels about.! Available M-F, 9 am-5 pm for both of you know that you have support in! Article took a look at the many challenges of aging we ignore it and take the!, is the other day, Im left feeling shit about myself child, as she... Not a reasonable i yelled at my elderly mother: I 'm an adult and take off the top 10 bad behaviors elderly., side effects from a medication or combination of medications can cause disorientation and distress parents exhibit, along some. Your mom does not even understand what your happiness means worked full time as an which... Mo and hence feel bad about it criticism of it parents did fun of her helpers because she n't! Made the situation worse good portion for yourself term effects of the attack we on! The next day end of the attack we make on them be fired that! Do so much in our marriage old mother has been living with us ( me, and... Long time but sometimes it is possible they outwardly disagree with what you choose to do anything her... Can for him, and my mother was when she yelled at my daughter. Independence, but really effective to having Rheumatoid Arthritis for past 19 years big...
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